Resurrection Eggs and The Gospel

Spring is here! The sun is shining. The weather is so beautiful I cannot help but want to be outside as much as possible every day because I know soon enough the temperature will be approaching 100 and we will not be able to last very long without being in the shade.

But these last few weeks have been so incredibly glorious. We had a rough winter. Sickness invaded our home which was especially concerning with an infant and it was actually cold and rainy (and even snowed a couple times) for once in Houston so it wasn't as easy to open the backdoor and tell the boys to go outside and play. Spring is sweeter when you've been through a "real" winter.

Spring also means Easter is just around the corner. How can the holiday that celebrates the very cornerstone of our faith sometimes be an after thought for me? Paul boldly proclaims in 1 Corinthians 15, if Christ was not raised, we are above all men the most to be pitied. The resurrection is the very crux of Christianity.

As a mom of littles, I want to communicate Easter is more about Jesus than it is about bunnies and candy and easter egg hunts (all of which we love). I am so thankful for the internet and also a community of moms through church and online that are like-minded. I stole some ideas from others the past couple of years with the hopes of communicating to our sons that Easter is a really big deal. It is about our Savior and the fact that He conquered sin and death and that because of that we have hope for eternal life! (Huge concepts to communicate to a 3 month old, 2 and 3 year old...maybe I am a little ambitious, lol).

Buy them here

1) Resurrection Eggs
We started doing Resurrection Eggs a couple years ago. Caleb didn't exactly "get it" when he was 18 months old, but we tried anyway. And hopefully, year after year the things we do will help all of our kiddos to understand who Christ is and what He has done.

Google Resurrection Eggs or look them up on Pinterest to see how to create some yourself. You can also buy the set (that comes with a little book) on amazon. There is another book that we read in addition called Benjamin's Box that follows along with the eggs. There are several ways to do them, but we open one each day for the 12 days leading up to Easter. Each egg has a symbol (donkey, coins, cup, etc) that represents something from the last week of Christ's life on Earth. There is Scripture to read each day as well.

This morning we opened up the egg that has the coins. The coins represent Judas' betrayal of his friend, Jesus. He was content to out Jesus to the officials for some cash. I found it a little challenging to explain the concept of betrayal to the boys. I tried to use a concrete example and said to Caleb, what if David told me ("bad" guy) where you were because I gave him something he really wanted (a favorite toy). But, I don't think he quite understood. It got me thinking...how often we give Judas a bad rep. I think, Judas! How could he!???

But am I like Judas more often than I care to admit? To I follow Christ because of what I can personally gain (a "good" marriage, friends, community, "well behaved" kids, etc) or do I follow him with the knowledge that it may cost me my life. In fact, true discipleship is always costly. It may not mean I give my physical life for the cause of Christ, but it surely should mean I lay down my life (my hopes, ambitions, desires, dreams, goals, my very SELF) at the foot of the cross and I come away with Christ, who is my new life. Oh, how easy it is for me to get side tracked and start living this life for the things I can see instead of the things that I cannot, which are more real, as they are eternal.

Got these at Hobby Lobby last year

2) Rocks as an Object Lesson for Sin

I am not very good at having original ideas. As much as I sometimes am fearful of our technology advanced world and what that means for the impact on my sons' brains, I am also incredibly thankful for the abundance of ideas out there. Why recreate the wheel if we don't have to? I read about this on God-Centered Mom's blog last year and thought it was such a powerful illustration! The idea is to speak with your kids about sin the night before Easter. A helpful definition is sin= choosing my way over God's way.

Sin (in greek is harmatia) and it literally means missing the mark, as in shooting an arrow- any miss of the target no matter how close is a sin. If you think that you are "good enough" to go to Heaven or to have a relationship with God then I question, how good is good enough? If God's standard is perfection, no matter how close we are on a ladder, we are still rungs beneath Him. Hitler may be at the bottom, Billy Graham may be closer to the top and we may be somewhere in the middle, but we aren't there. None of us is perfect.

Romans 3:23 speaks how we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

You have the kids think of some sins they struggle with (whining, fighting, disobeying, etc) and write them down on rocks. Then you put the rocks in their baskets.

On Easter morning, you have a basket labeled "Jesus" and put all the rocks into that basket and in the place of the rocks in their individual baskets you put gifts. This demonstrates the gospel- Jesus took our sins and gave us life instead.

3) Resurrection Rolls (or Hot Cross Buns)
We did this the last couple of years as well. You bake marshmallows in crescent rolls dipped in butter, cinnamon and sugar and the marshmallow melts leaving behind an "empty tomb". The first year we did this, Caleb then tore open every piece of bread he ate for weeks after and kept saying "Jesus isn't there!"

If you're like me at all, things like these ideas and others on Pinterest are a double-edged sword. On one hand, they are great and encouraging and you're thankful to add some of these into the rhythm of your own family, but on the other hand, it can sometimes feel overwhelming. It's easy to look at all the ideas and think, "I have to do all of these things to be a "good" mom!" Silence that voice. We are all uniquely created by God. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, and what we do or do not do does not define us. You are free! So if these ideas (other's ideas, not my own and if you're in the Christian bubble at all, you've probably already heard of most or all of these) are helpful, run with them! If not, keep eating all the candy and being thankful for Easter morning.

This is the Recipe I've used.

4) Ideas for Easter Basket-
-Swimsuits, towels (got my boys these shark poncho towels this year), sidewalk chalk, bubbles, any summer activities, etc
- books are always a great thing to add
-puzzles
-coloring books, Melissa and Doug Water Wows, those special markers that are "mess free", etc
-Bibles/devotionals/DVDs that can help them "grow" with God as they continue to get older

This year we bought the Bible DVD and I'm excited to see if they like it as much as they did the DVD we bought about the Christmas Story.

Judas again....
Today after leaving the park with friends, I noticed my gas tank was almost below E (oops!). So I pulled into the first gas station I saw and realized I did not have my wallet! I left it in my tutoring bag from last night. After panicking for a moment and mentally scanning through my options, I decided to drive back to the park and beg my friends to let me borrow some money to be able to get home.
I explained to the boys that we had to go back to the park and that we were going to borrow some money. To which Caleb happily replied, "Like Judas in the Bible!" (clearly we need to work on explaining this story a little more). I said, "Not exactly, bud. Judas was paid money to tell the soldiers where Jesus was. Our friends are being kind and letting us borrow money so we can get gas to get home."

Minutes later, we were back at the gas station, my friend's credit card in tow. My heart was filled with immediate relief when I saw the word "approved" on the gas tank after I correctly entered in her zip code.

Friends, this is the Gospel. Jesus has paid for our sins. And because of his gift, we are approved unto God. I could have gone in to the gas station and begged them to let me fill up my tank. I could have listed out all the reasons why I deserved their help (I have 3 little kids, I'm a "good" person, I can pay you back, even) but I didn't have any way to pay, so I could not get the gas to go home.

Without Jesus, we have NO WAY TO PAY. We are poor. Our righteousness is filthy rags to Him. If we want to go home, we have to use His credit card, if you will. We have to acknowledge that He lived a perfect life. As the Son of God He willingly laid down His life and paid for our sin (as Caleb likes to say "He took our spankings") when He died on the cross, and that 3 days later He conquered death when He rose again.

I often miss the gospel when I attempt to pay myself. I think, if only I do this, if only I could earn His favor someway, then He will approve of me. But friends, this is religion. This is works based theology. The good news is that He has already paid for us. We accept His gift of grace not based on merit at all!

Though this gift, this credit card- it isn't cheap. Jesus paid with His life. Now imagine in my story above, if I kept my friend's credit card for the rest of my life and constantly used it to charge whatever I wanted without consulting her. Even more, what if I never spoke to her again! True salvation isn't a one time swipe of the card, but a daily relationship and walk with Him. We fail continually, and ask for His forgiveness again and again, but we seek to consult Him, we commit our lives to Him, we care about what He cares about. We love what He loves and hate what He hates. We want to live a life that is pleasing to Him because He loves us.

But how often do we miss the full picture? When we think of salvation as a one time prayer, a one time payment and go on living the rest of our lives for ourselves, we miss it. We miss all the things God has for us in Christ Jesus. I can so easily get off-track. But, I am so thankful for His promise to bring what He started to completion (Philippians 1:6). And oh for grace and wisdom to be able to explain this beautiful mystery to our boys and that they would believe and have eternal life (John 3:16).

Ethan's Birth Story 12.18.17

Here we are 3 months in, and I am finally making time to write down Ethan's birth story, but #thirdchildproblems, right?

For those of you who have known me for a while, you know my history with long/difficult labors- (read Caleb's story here and David's here) and that I had high hopes of being able to have a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Caesarian) this time around.  God, however had different plans.

I changed doctors from my high risk doctor in the med center to someone who is supportive of VBACS and much closer. I brought my lists of questions to ensure we were a good fit. I wanted to make sure she wouldn't force me to be induced on or before my due date, that big babies wouldn't scare her, that my heart condition didn't scare her, etc. I had a great experience with Dr. Miller, and I would still recommend her even though things did not go according to my plan.

Back story:
On the first trimester screen test, a test we almost didn't do (and sometimes I wonder what if we had declined) a level of mine called PAPP-A came back low. At the time, I didn't think it was a huge deal, but as my pregnancy progressed I realized the "rules" had changed for how my doctor wanted to deal with me. Those with low PAPP-A have a higher risk for stillbirth, low birth weight, restricted growth, preeclampsia, etc and due to those risks I had to get weekly ultrasounds (Biophysical Profiles) and weekly non-stress tests to monitor Ethan beginning at 32 weeks. Between our packing and moving and having to drag 2 toddlers to every single appointment, it was exhausting to say the least. It was also reassuring because each time they said he looked good, with the exception of one time where my doctor made me go back to the hospital later that night for more monitoring. I was getting close to 36/37 weeks when I asked my doctor again about how long she would let me go before being induced (she said 41 weeks originally). And she said, "oh no, you have low PAPP-A, the recommendation is to deliver at 38 weeks". I was shocked and there may have been some (or a lot) of tears shed. I thought the reason we were doing the weekly tests was to make sure he was doing okay, and that I could still let him stay put until 41 weeks as long as he was looking good on the tests. I did not want to go through another c-section, and I knew that being induced when Ethan and my body were not ready at all only increased that chance. All that to say, after many questions and weighing pros and cons, Bryan and I decided to wait a little longer to see if I would go into labor naturally. The other tricky thing was that my due date was December 22nd and my doctor was off the whole week before Christmas. If I were to go into labor and show up at the hospital, I could get stuck with a doctor who wasn't a fan of VBACs and would simply say I would have to have an automatic c-section. It was an agonizing choice. We prayed and talked about it again and again trying to weigh the pros and cons. We finally decided we would never be able to forgive ourselves if something happened to Ethan, so we waited until the last possible day my doctor would still be on call (Monday, December 18th) and went to the hospital to see if we could get labor started.

I had tried all the things, and I mean ALL the things to see if I could make him come on his own (pumping, pineapple date smoothies, eating tons of dates for weeks before, walking, spicy foods, eggplant parmesan, seeing a chiropractor weekly for the last trimester, bouncy ball all day long, etc, etc) but nothing seemed to help. My dream was to go into labor naturally and have one of those amazing birth stories, and I tried everything in my power to make that happen. A theme in my life over the last several years is I try to do all the "right things", and I don't get the outcome I want in the end. Unlike school, where I could follow a formula, study, prepare and ace the exam, this whole life as an adult is much more complicated. Sometimes we prepare and research and try and fail again and again. God, in His grace, has allowed me to do so. He has broken my pride again, and again (especially through Caleb's colic/fussyness, hard first 5 months of life that no book I read prepared me for). I can read all the how-to books, the suggestions, the blogposts and still come up with the less than desired result. God is obviously trying to teach me a huge lesson about control and pride and ultimately the Gospel: the beautiful truth that I cannot EARN His favor. He gives it freely. That is what grace is (Ephesians 2:8-9). It is just taking quite a few tutorial sessions for this "good girl" to understand her desperate need for His grace. I can pray and pray, and He can say no. But, I digress....

We show up early (5 am) on Monday morning and Dr. Miller's plan was to place a foley bulb in to start to soften and dilate my cervix. She couldn't use cervadil like my previous labors because of my prior c-section. I was super afraid, and it was incredibly painful, but when she was feeling around in there she realized I was actually already 3 cm dilated! Praise Jesus!!! I was SOOOOOOO beyond excited and thought, maybe, just maybe this would actually go smoothly this time around. Third time is a charm, right! She breaks my water and we hope that this will kick labor into gear without pitocin (using pitocin increases chance of uterine rupture when attempting to VBAC). I wasn't progressing much, so they began pitocin and I labored for a few hours. I asked for wireless monitoring and walked the halls as much as I could. I used the peanut ball. I bounced- I wanted so badly to make this thing work. I would've loved to try to labor without an epidural, but my sweet labor and delivery nurse kindly pointed out that if I did need a c-section it would be much easier if I had an epidural as then they wouldn't have to knock me out. So around 1:30 pm or so I got an epidural. I was 5 cm dilated and I was finally able to get some rest (we hadn't slept much the night before). At 3:00 pm, a group of about 5 nurses barge into my room. One is talking to Dr. Miller on the phone, they turn me over and make me get on all 4s, trying to find Ethan's heartbeat. Another gives me a shot in my upper arm and tells me this will stop my contractions. Another tells me we are having trouble finding your baby's heart rate (it had been extremely low for 10 minutes straight) and that they were going to ask Dr. Miller what to do. Then quickly the on call doctor is in the room and talking to Dr. Miller on the phone and saying she can start and prep me while Dr. Miller is on her way. They tell me the words I so had not wanted to hear, "we are going to take you back for a c-section now".

My eyes spilled over with tears. My body had failed me once again, but this time I wasn't crying because I was upset about the c-section, I was crying and pleading with God that He would spare Ethan's life. I was so afraid that we were going to lose him. I didn't care what they had to do to me, I just wanted my son to live. They rolled me back into the brightly lit, sterile OR, put up the sheet, kept wiping me with wipes asking "is this cold?" to test for feeling, telling me it was going to be okay. I heard Dr. Miller's voice and was full of relief. She got there in time! Bryan came in all dressed in scrubs and held my hand. They called out the time: 15:19 and I felt tons of pulling and tugging and pushing on my belly and then, finally at 15:23, our third son was lifted out of me. It was the longest 4 minutes of my life. Hearing his first cry brought relief to this Mama's heart like none other. He was here and he was healthy. As they were stitching me up, Dr. Miller told me she was sorry it didn't work out how I hoped, and she even said if I am brazen enough we can wait a couple years and try again (we have yet to decide if our family is complete yet). I was able to hold Ethan for a little bit and got to have him on my chest when they rolled me into recovery. The smallest of our boys, he was 7 lbs 8 oz and 20.5 inches long and absolutely perfect. We have no idea why his heart rate  was down for so long. The fear was that my uterus was rupturing since his heartbeat had been below 100 bpm consecutively for around 10 minutes. Some decelerations are normal (Caleb had many and the cord ended up being around his neck), but the medical team was fearful since his heart rate had gone low and stayed low and did not want to risk it with a VBAC.

Later that day, Bryan told me when he was putting on the scrubs to come into the room he saw another dad outside. Somehow they struck up a conversation and the dad had asked if we were having a boy or a girl. Bryan said, "A boy, how about you?" and he said, "My baby didn't make it." His wife had carried the baby full term and had noticed less movement and when they came in, they couldn't find a heartbeat. And just like that, they lost their first child. Bryan wept with this man, and asked if he could pray for him.

Three months later and I still cannot think about that poor sweet couple without tears filling my eyes. The kind of grief they are experiencing seems almost too much to bare. Even imagining what it would be like for a second cripples me. I decided right then, I wasn't going to complain about not getting the birth story I wanted. I wasn't going to complain about being cut open and having to endure a more difficult recovery with two toddlers and stairs in our new home. I was going to be thankful. God spared Ethan's life and mine. Sometimes it is helpful look at the big picture and gain a little perspective.

I've said it before and I will say it again: comparison is the stealer of all joy. Sometimes I still have to fight that tendency: to compare the story God wrote for me to the one He wrote for others. But going down that road always brings discontentment. Let's choose to dwell on the good. Let's choose to think about the many things He has given, the many prayers He has answered instead of the few He has not (the way we thought we wanted, anyway). Let's choose to count our blessings, to tell Him why we are thankful. I have found that gratitude is often the vehicle through which contentment comes.

One of the very positive things about what happened was we had a baby in record time of showing up at the hospital (our other two, we had to be there for almost 2 days before we even had them and that was exhausting!). This time, we got to go home on Wednesday! We only had to spend 2 nights there! But then a week later, after going to the ER for severe swelling, shortness of breath and chest pain, I had to be readmitted due to high blood pressure. They ran several tests (mainly because I have a heart condition) and gave me a magnesium drip and blood pressure meds and finally were able to send me home after a couple of days when my blood pressure finally came down. Sadly we had to spend Christmas eve and Christmas day away from our big boys, but in the end, we made it. I took the medicine for 6 weeks and then stopped and so far, so good.

Ultimately, like Dr. Miller kept telling me, our goal: healthy mama, healthy baby. And for that, we are so beyond thankful.

(newborn pics done by the incredibly gifted Kate Miller)

Lions, Tigers and Bears...Blow Outs, Flat Tires and Traffic Oh My!

For the last couple of months both of the big boys have been asking almost daily if we can go to the zoo. We have patiently waited until Ethan was a little older, the weather was actually good, Bryan could take a day off and everyone was well. Finally, today was the day! I packed lunches last night and this morning we woke up early and got everyone ready. We were hoping to get to the zoo when it opened at 9. As the boys walked outside and hopped in the van, with big smiles on their faces, they began to debate which animals they wanted to see first. I finished up feeding Ethan and came out to Bryan walking in and saying, "We have bad news. There is a flat tire."

Y'all, I seriously almost cried. I know that a flat tire is really not a huge deal. There are a million other things worse than a flat tire, but I just hated to disappoint my kids. I hated to tell them our plans would have to change. The boys began to lose it saying they wanted to go to the zoo. We spent a few minutes trying to problem solve (do we change the tire now and then go get it fixed and delay our trip a couple of hours or so, hit traffic and possibly miss nap time or do we attempt to load all 3 carseats into the Accord?), we decided on option 2 and miraculously fit our 3 seats across (hopefully safely)! Traffic wasn't horrible on the way there, but it took us at least 35 minutes to park, during which Ethan screamed the entire time and the big boys repeatedly said they wanted to get out and see the animals. I don't know what was going on at the zoo today, but parking was especially crazy (though the zoo itself wasn't so crowded...it's a mystery). By the time we parked, I fed Ethan, Bryan changed David's horrible blow-out of a diaper(the first one he's had in months) and we then got  hands cleaned and the boys a snack it was an hour and a half after we originally got to the zoo. Going anywhere with 3 little ones takes a while, but this morning I felt like it took all of the energy we had-seriously 1.5 hours from when we arrived we finally stood in front of the Elephants.

Sitting 3 across

All that to say, so many delays happened this morning: flat tires, car seat rearrangements, parking delays, blow out diapers, snack requests, feeding the baby, the list goes on and on. I kept thinking, "Okay, Lord I know we can trust you!" Even on the way to the zoo as I prayed, I thanked God for the delay trusting that He was good in it. When our expectations and reality don't match up, we end up disappointed and I often have to fight that urge and remember to look at the big picture.

As we walked from exhibit to exhibit in a slightly different order than we normally do, we found ourselves in front of the Lions. And in all of my years visiting the Houston zoo, we actually saw the male Lion! I have to admit, I got as excited as the kids and tried to make our way closer to see. It was amazing to see him walking back and forth in front of the glass. The zookeeper even said it was incredibly rare (she said it almost never happens) for him to come out with people there! It was a special treat. And later I got to thinking....if any of those delays (which I realize are completely first world problems and minor inconveniences compared to many things people deal with) wouldn't have happened, then we wouldn't have found ourselves in front of the Lion exhibit at the exact time the Lion decided to come out and show himself. What a cool thing to be able to see! And what a gift.

The Lion!

Perhaps God has you in a place of delay, or disappointment. Maybe, just maybe He is waiting because He is wanting you to be able to see the Lion, namely Jesus, who is called the Lion of Judah in Scripture. Maybe He is saying, "not yet" because He has something greater to show you. Just as He didn't grant Mary and Martha's request to come and heal their brother. He delayed, purposely 2 whole days SO THAT Lazarus would die. The sisters grieved. Jesus wept. And then He showed His glory immensely by raising Lazarus from the dead! He always denies the lesser for the greater. I have to be reminded of this so often. I have to be reminded it is not about me and my plan. Rather it's something as small as a flat tire or as big as a delayed answer to prayer for healing, God knows what He is doing. He is all powerful and infinitely wise and worthy of our praise.

"But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord. I say, 'You are my God, my times are in your hands.'" Psalm 31:14-15

They always want to see "Dee Dee" (aka Dory)

Ethan's First Zoo Trip

sleeping babies melt my heart

That's a wrap